Monday, February 18, 2013

Bury my heart on an English train

Whoever is tired of the trains of England is tired of life. 

I believe in this twist on a famous quote for several reasons.  I was an English lit. major.  I'm a longtime devotee of Masterpiece Classics, and also an incurable romantic.  

These days, when English trains are more utilitarian than picturesque and no longer belch steam, they still enchant.  One can even experience a 'brief encounter' as I did on a recent trip.  A gentleman saw my forgotten coat and raced after me as I was about to exit.  "You dropped your coat, luv!" he said to me and a low, husky, Downton Abbey accented voice.  Romantics like to be addressed as 'luv'. 

Brits seem to unleash their famous stiff upper lips when they travel by train.  I was on a Salisbury to London run, quietly listening to a book on my MP3 player, when a pretty 20-something actually started a conversation with me.  Usually I'm the initiator.  She told me all about her life in the West End and gave good advice on the theater venues in the district.  The British do chat, even to Americans. 

Talk about adventure.  I was traveling from Glasgow to York when a conductor came on the intercom and apologetically announced that all passengers must get off at the next village.  "Regrettably," he informed us, "there's a fire on the line ahead and also a canister of petrol.  So very sorry for the inconvenience."

The announcement sank in.  A fire...petro... an incident of hooliganism???  Or, as we Yanks would say, an act of terrorism???  I felt like a character in an Agatha Christie novel. 

"What do we do?" I asked some locals sitting nearby. 

"To be honest, we don't know either--luv," someone said. 

"Bet this kind of thing never happens in Colorado," commented another local.

We all disembarked in a small town somewhere in northern England.

Without a plan of action, I asked if I could hang with the locals and they cheerily agreed.  We strolled around the village train station--three Brits and one disoriented American tourist.  Finally, someone got the bright idea to take a bus to the next village.  That's what we did, and eventually we were rerouted to York.  My instant friends were a jolly bunch, and I enjoyed the heck out of that trip.

Anything can happen on a train in England.  And, don't get me started on what can befall a hapless tourist on the London tube. 

2 comments:

  1. Hilarious! You should write a whole bunch of short stories as an American tourist in England.

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  2. Many thanks for the suggestion. i'm on it. MJM

    ReplyDelete